July 31th 2016
We had multiple races going on since the last news update. Arjala took an easy victory in Tropicana 400, Juhanpoika managed to grab the victory on 3rd last lap in New England 300 and Jay removes kebab in Pennsylvania 500. Bode is using some black magic because twice in these races he got destroyed badly but managed to recover. David Barrett seems to be still leading, but Eurobeat Masters got beaten up by Team Autism. Next up is Brickyard 400. Can Team Plywood recover from their DNF streak? Will Abe Xedinski ever wake up everytime his driver wins? Is David Barrett going to fall down? Let's go.
July 25th 2016
Zero crashes were seen today at Pepsi 400 (which was delayed again) as only three drivers went DNF for car problems. It was a really tight race between Arjala, Umber and Konpaku at final ten laps since these three kept switching leading positions constantly. Umber manager to take the win from Arjala who was about to go for the pass in the last lap. Meanwhile Super Cyborg is having major trouble staying at TOP10, today placing 20th and 21st. Later this week we are driving in Tropicana 400, New England 300 and Pennsylvania 500. Will Jay recover from losing the race in his home territory? When will this season end? Who is writing these news anyway? Check us out soon.
July 20th 2016
This was easily the weirdest race so far in the season due the fact that this track had multiple right turns. This didn't confuse any of the drivers however and the race ended with only four people getting DNF and we didn't see any rough crashes. The battle was on between Shirley, Rapula and Konpaku and Konpaku took the victory just at the end of the race. We will see another track with right turns in the future but first we have to take a look at Pepsi 400 that is happening on Sunday. Will everyone have Pepsi sponsorship during the race? Does Super Cyborg have a chance to raise in the team rankings? Is there a chance for David Barrett to fall? We will find out on Sunday!
July 17th 2016
Today's race was completely ignored by our commentators Mara and Yazzeeh as classical music and nostalgia was filled in the studio. Apparently David Barrett won again while Bode took his third silver place in a row. We believe that Kousaka and Oumae did a team suicide as well but Tuuba Racing Association is still investigating. Unfortunately for Runk his gearbox got fucked right at the start and he had to DNF instantly. Next Wednesday will be absolute nightmare for drivers because they are now required to steer right as well! Will drivers be able to steer right or will all of them hit a wall? Will team suicides ever stop? Can we see a race without someone getting DNF'd right at the start? Soon.
July 14th 2016
Bode and Juhanpoika were having an intense battle yesterday as these two were taking the leads constantly. In the end, Juhanpoika managed to grab the victory as strong looking Bode did a mistake and went for an extra pit. Rapula even tried to take down these two but he failed. During the race commentator was trying to understand broken Finnish that Google Translate was giving. In the end only 8 drivers survived. Next time, Sirius Satellite Radio 400. Will Juhanpoika and Bode keep battling against each other? Will Bode take a second place for three times in a row? Will Mara stop being a fucking lazy shit and update stuff on time? See ya next time!
July 11th 2016
Race was delayed to Monday but that didn't stop the race being pretty intensive. Dick Umber gets destroyed before the race even begun, making him listed as if he didn't even start the race. It is very bad news for him as he won't be getting any points from this, making him fall a lot in the rankings. Juhanpoika's manager Abe Xedinski was rigging the race so much that he managed to eliminate almost all top drivers from the race, giving Juhanpoika fifth place. Donerkebab and Brunestud also managed to kill each other. Don't use LSD, kids. Oumae was having too much fun at the pit. She visited the pit for a second, completed a half lap and then returned back to the pit. What the hell, Oumae? David Barrett takes the win after defeating Gumpertsen (who later got destroyed in Abe's rigged crashes) and Bode who tried his best to follow Gumpertsen. Lastly, Runk actually survived this race! Woohoo! Next time we will be racing on Pocono 500 which is a long track. Will Abe Xedinski rig more races with his virtual money? Is the relationship between LSD drivers ruined? Can Dick Umber recover from this huge fall? See ya next time!
July 6th 2016
Product placement was seen today in Coca-Cola 600 as almost all the cars were painted into the same fashion as Jay's beautiful Pepsi car. The race started with a massive crash that only took two drivers out of the race. For some reason Juhanpoika decided to stop the racing and he left the car running in the pit and went to drink coffee while he still had to drive 83 more laps. Tuuba Racing Association is investigating this bad behaviour from Juhanpoika. Winner turned out to be Kyka Slyat who managed to beat Dick Umber after having an intense duel with him. Unfortunately we couldn't get an interview with the manager because he was too busy playing video games with friends. Can you believe that shit? We have now raced 1/3th of the season and Barrett is still leading. Next up is MBNA America 400. Can Barrett be stumped? Will Eurobeat Masters ever get down? Will Runk rise from the last place? Check us out on Sunday!
July 3rd 2016
Krazy Ardet took a massive shit! As much as Kassin Surma, Sirkku Keijukainen and Luola Juhanpoika tried to pass Krazy Ardet, he was too powerful. Kardet commented that he put it into practice and it seems to be paying off. He is also looking towards a race where he will be leading 100% of the race. We also witnessed the most weird crash during this whole season that killed insane amount of drivers. Highlight goes to Donerkebab who managed to kill himself and his own mate. Good job! Only 6 drivers survived today but next up is Coca-Cola 600 that is as dangerous! Are people going to make Coca-Cola themed car paints and annoy Jay? Will Runk ever survive a race without DNF? Will Krazy Ardet dominate again? See you guys next time!
July 1st 2016
Dude, holy shit! Also, D Donerkebab won and we witnesses a massive crash. That's it. YOU DID IT, GUMPYY!
June 26th 2016
First off, an apology on behalf of the webdesign monkeys. Due to the race being delayed from Wednesday to Friday, the site was only properly updated now, on Sunday. The race on Friday was held at Aaron 499, with 188 laps being driven on the lengthy track. N. Bode turned up first on the finish line, after leading almost half of the race, with D. Donerkebab coming up second for the second time in a row. Sunday's race took place on Virginia 500, the smallest track in the series so far, resulting in lower average speeds and less accidents. Donerkebab had a strong start, but butchered it for himself by having to pay too many visits to the pit crew fairly early on in the race. Around the half-way point the race got so boring our streamer fell asleep in the bed for roughly 20 minutes. Nearing the end of the race, D. Umb seemed to be the clear victor, but with only five laps left to finish line his car terminated its contract, letting S. Shirley reach the chequered flag first. In an after-race interview, he stated that his goal is "to be the #1 motherfucker". Regardless of their weak result in the recent races, Eurobeat Masters are still holding the lead on the team rankings. Individual rankings are led by D. Barrett, 14 points ahead of S. Udoku. Shirley's win brought him to the third place, 20 points behind second place. The next race will (hopefully) take place next Wednesday on Auto Club 500, with 250 laps. Gumpyy has not made a better car yet.
June 19th 2016
Not many crashes were witnessed at Samsung/Radio Shack 500 today, with 11 drivers surviving to see the finish line. Most notably the current ranking leader D. Barrett got his car destroyed in a crash with L. Juhanpoika, whose vehicle also suffered damage too severe for continuing the race. However, Barrett still holds a solid 15 point lead over T. Jay. Some fairly surprising upsets happened as well, with K. Ardet dominating the entire race, leading 273 out of the 334 laps and finally sealing the deal by finishing first. Another surprise was delivered by D. Donerkebab who started from the last position and ended up second in the race regardless of his disappointing results earlier in the series. A disappointment was instead met by team Remove Kebab, only catching up Eurobeat Masters by two points. The next race will take place at Aaron's 499 with 188 laps. Will the lower amount of laps contribute to some of the less consistent drivers' results? Will Gumpyy finally make a better car? This and (maybe) more will be found out next Wednesday.
June 15th 2016
Today's race at Food City 500 seems to have been nightmare fuel for many drivers once again, with only four cars making it to the finish line. Only 26 laps in to the 500 lap race 11 drivers were already declared as DNF, with the first accident taking out G. Gumpertsen less than a single lap after the start of the race, proving him finishing his race last Sunday was truly just a fluke. K. Slyat and L. Juhanpoika swiftly followed suit, having to end the race on the second lap. After the beginning's chaos, the remaining 9 drivers went on with the race peacefully for about 1½ hours, before the crashing and mechanical failures started taking them out again, one by one. Most of the race ended up being a battle for the 1st place between K. Ardet and K. Rapula, finally ending in Rapula's victory. The only team surviving the entire race, Remove Kebab grabbed plenty of points for themselves, helping them in catching up Eurobeat Masters, who are now only 9 points ahead in the team rankings. This Sunday, we'll see the racers facing off on Samsung/Radio Shack 500. Will the drivers learn to not bump into the walls on every curve? Are the Kebab Removers going to take back the lead in team rankings? Will Gumpyy finally make a better car?
June 12th 2016
History was made today at the Carolina Dodge Dealers 400, as the infamously ugly car piloted by Gumpy Gumpertsen reached the sweet embrace of the black-and-white finish flag for the first time this season, securing a mind-blowing 170 points for his 3rd place finish. The victory this week fell into the hands of Suzi Udoku (manager SyncroOffensive) after another balanced performance in their orange car. The top 3 was rounded out by Kari Rapula, finishing second. While we had our fair share of small bumps and spinouts this week, the true bane of our racers this time around were the outside walls of the track. Lap after lap we saw countless racers gracing, grinding or straight up bumping into the sides of the oval track. This led to more than one chain impact, spinning out racers every now and again. We also witnessed an impressive amount of variation in causes of retirement, as a plethora of technical difficulties plagued our racers, with such parts as ignition and tires making their first appearances as reasons of retirement from the race. Kari Arjala suffered their 4th consecutive retirement, as their ignition broke down roughly 100 laps before the finish. The shortest-lived performance this week was made by none other than the Pepsiman himself, Tyler Jay. He had to drop out from the race due to a piston failure on lap 48. With Tyler Jay's early retirement, he has to now give up his number one spot on the season rankings to today's winner, Suzi Udoku. Udoku's teammate David Barrett also finished the race in a good position, extending the Eurobeat Masters' team ranking lead even further. Remove Kebab still hangs onto their number two spot with Rapula's valiant second place finish this week.
Outside the race, we have added one more person to the website administration team. Lefafel (manager of Rapula) will be helping out with updating race results and keeping track of drivers' skill points. From now on, tag or PM Lefafel on Discord (or wherever you can find them) with your skill point woes. With a new week we are also announcing a change in the racing schedule, as we introduce races twice a week. Our next race at the Food City 500 will be raced on Wednesday, 15th of June. Will the Eurobeat Masters continue their consistent performances, or will we see some fresh faces at the top of the charts? Will our drivers learn the art of turning left and the importance of not hitting the walls before then? Tune in to find out, 12 PM UTC on Wednesday!
June 5th 2016
We didn't exactly see a single massive crash at Atlanta 500, but once again only ten drivers managed to finish this bloodbath of a race. While there weren't any huge bangs, we did witness some really impressive take-downs. Arcueid Brunestud destroyed both Sirkku Keijukainen, and Killer Memestar who managed to flip in the air! Remove Kebab got destroyed again later in the race by a double kill from Kyka Slyat, which you can also watch here. In the end Nanahira Mayumi took the win with ease, but unfortunately we couldn't get an interview from the manager. In other news, we have received some backup in the Tuuba Racing team. Besides Mara (who does almost everything) and ksg (who makes sure that the text you are reading right now is almost readable), Dusalty will be helping with updating the website statistics, and zBlinK has joined to make some Tuuba Racing video content on YouTube (crash montages) once he gets his hands on the replays. Welcome and thank you for helping on this project! Next week we'll be at Carolina Dodge Dealers 400. Will everyone keep dying? Is Remove Kebab doomed? Will Gumpertsen finally go to driving school?
May 30th 2016
For a lot of drivers the race at UAW-DaimlerChrysler 400 turned out to be a disaster, as over half of the drivers did not finish due to huge crashes that occured during the race. The most fatal crash happened around the middle point of the race as a total of seven cars got destroyed brutally. While there are no highlight videos up yet, you can watch the crash as seen live here. About 15 laps later Arcueid Brunestud pulled off an impressive double kill, removing the kebab removers Tyler Jay and Kari Rapula from the race. The winner of UAW-DaimlerChrysler 400 turned out to be Kassin Surma. He managed to pass Luola Juhanpoika who seemed nigh unbeatable near the end of the race. Surma's manager Deathicle commented on Surma's secret to winning the race: "Well, the point is that you have to clear your mind and just do it." David Barrett has now finished second in two races in succession, leaving him mere two points behind Tyler Jay. Next week we will see Atlanta 500. Will the amount of crashes increase or did we just see the peak? Will David Barrett finally take the lead in the series? Will Gumpertsen stop crashing all the time?
May 23rd 2016
The Second Tuuba Racing event was held at Subway 400 yesterday evening. Tyler Jay was on fire as he led the race for almost half of the laps, eventually winning the race, leaving David Barrett (Manager minorman4) 12 seconds behind. A point of interest about this race was the amount of DNFs. Kari Arjala (Manager Multtari) only completed 7 laps before having to give up. A total of 10 drivers had some sort of issues with their cars or got into an accident during the race. Most notable crash which is still in investigation happened as Olavi Kurwa (Manager ksg) got hit by another car and started spinning like an absolute madman. While Tyler Jay's victory is a second one in the row, same thing can't be said about the team rankings. Because Jay's partner Kari Rapula didn't perform as well this time as he did on the first race and thanks to an extremely strong show by both Suzi Udoku (Manager SyncroOffensive) and David Barrett, Eurobeat Masters have now taken the lead in the team rankings. Will someone defeat Tyler Jay at UAW-DaimlerChrysler 400 or has snowballing started having an effect?
May 15th 2016
Tyler Jay (Manager Dawnsday) has taken the very first Tuuba Racing victory in Daytona 500. Not only that, but his teammate Kari Rapula (Manager Lefafel) finished third in the race. Both were also leading the race for an insane amount of laps combined to guarantee them a nice lead in the team rankings. "Before the race we had a pit talk with T. Jay and we sat down. We were like 'T. Jay! We are gonna remove kebab with the Pepsimobile!' T. Jay just understood what that meant, he had to remove kebab with the power of Pepsi all over his car.", comments Jay's manager Dawnsday. The biggest threat was clearly Kari Arjala (Manager Multtari) who ended up on 6th place despite leading the pack for a vast portion of the race. However, not everyone here at Tuuba Racing had a good start. Dick Umber (Manager AstroCookie) couldn't even finish 1/4th of the race as his car's mechanics failed early on in the race. Gumpu Gumpertsen (Manager Gumpyyy) came across the same fate, eventually having to give up after 136 laps. Next week the racers are driving in Subway 400 and the question is - will kebab be removed once again or will any other team show a massive middle finger?